WHO AM IFOOLING? I am one with my soul So I keep telling my mind But it’s a different story with my body I am mind, body and soul. Who am I fooling? It is crystal clear that in this relationship I am the minister without portfolio My pure hearted love is never enough True Love is only a magazine that women read In my world that shit doesn’t exist. She got a big heart That’s why she loved me and him Things got more complicated when I started sleeping with her So I sent my prayers to him While she was busy sleeping with her. Now stuck in the matrix Dodging bullets of stigmatised commentary and disgusting labels Now because I have the HIV. Now time moves slower and my sins sink into my soul and sober my senses The only comfort that I can comes and lies in the bottle of Jameson Who’s strong scents tickle my tongue utter sinful words Directed to sassy ladies that lead us to sex Flesh on flesh sex is the order of the day With the woman whose name I can’t even remember It’s a vicious circle because my fake love Has resulted in 4 abortions and countless infections. KILL ME NOW! KILL ME NOW! Dear God why don’t you take me now? First I was careless then acted wreckless and now I’m left hopeless They say the truth sets you free But this truth has left me destitute And I don’t need your pity nor your negative attitude Fuck! Who am I fooling? If I could live my life all over again I swear I would live it according to the 10 commandments As much as there’s a thin line between love and hate I never thought that my love could quickly turn into hate I guess now it’s a little too late... K.Ngudu (NguduThePoet)